Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Princess Training: The How-To Reference Guide for Guys with High-Maintenance Wives
She takes time.
Do you feel like your wife demands all of your waking moments? Well fellas, that's not going to change. Next to God, she is your top priority, and your top priorities will require your time. If you're not giving her the T.L.C. she desires, she will go hungry, like a plant without water. Make sure you are scheduling in plenty of talk time, date nights, and getaways. Mindy and I shoot for at least 20 minutes a day of just "talk time" between her and I, one date night each week, and one getaway every 3 months. This may seem like a lot, especially if you are parents with young kids. However, if you want to keep that beautiful flower healthy, you need to make sure you are giving her the water and nutrients she needs.
She is emotional.
You married a woman. She was created differently than you, especially in the realm of emotions. Be appreciative of this, because when you have kids she is going to be the one responsible for ensuring they are emotionally stable by showing empathy when in your moments of being callous and aloof.
She expects a prince charming.
Many guys use the excuse, "I'm not the romantic type." Truth is, you had to have done some romantic and thoughtful things while you dated that attracted her to you. Otherwise, you'd still be single, right? Are you still putting forth the same effort as before? If not, she has been a victim of false advertisement. She thought the person she married would be the same person she was dating, so man up and write that chick a love letter, open the door, take her on a spontaneous date. Then maybe you will start peeling back the walls that a romance-less marriage puts up. Every woman needs to feel loved and to be treated like a princess. Reality is that every woman desires it and gravitates towards it. If you're not meeting the requirements, some other guy out there just might try to replace you.
She wants stuff.
So your wife is materialistic? Join the club. Women were created by God to enjoy beautiful things. When they see something sparkly, it immediately draws their attention. That's why all the advertisements for women products are covered with pink and purple sparkles. Just check out the deoderant aisle, you'll see what I mean. Women feel beautiful when they have beautiful things. Make a routine of buying her something pretty about once a month, even if its just one simple rose. She will light up with smiles.
So your wife is high maintenance; that's okay. Be happy that she hasn't let go of the hope that you are still her prince charming. Don't let another day go by without her feeling like your princess.
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Respectfully, I disagree. I think if women accept the identity you have laid out for them in this post, they are robbing themselves of the identity offered to them by Jesus. So consider as you move forward with the launch of Impact City what it means to pastor and shepherd a church. Because if this is how you are pushing women to grow in their faith, my heart breaks for any woman in that church.
ReplyDeleteRespectfully, I have posted my comments below. Thanks for reading our blog. God Bless, Justin
DeleteHello, I have a few more thoughts I'd like to share with you "TTS", but first I am curious are you coming from the perspective of a husband or that of the wife? Yes, it matters...
ReplyDeleteHowever, either way I'd like to address your comment about shepherding the church. As a pastor, yes I am called to shepherd the church. However, first I am called to shepherd my wife, family and neighbors. As a husband I am responsible to first love her like Christ loved the church, secondly encourage her in ways that helps move her in a direction towards God. In addition to that, "good" husbands help bring out the best in their wife. In order to do this we have to be intentional with our words and actions that affirm our love for them. Feel free to watch our video on the topic here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRHeq9alaiM . We were all created on purpose, with a purpose. I've found through my experience in counseling many couples that a husband can unintentionally put a lid on his wife's God-given potential if he doesn't understand the she is wired completely different than him...to learn more about how you can crack the code check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJC3222xxMk ...lastly, in Matthew 7, Jesus talks about knowing a tree by its fruit, and healthy trees produce healthy fruit. Spend 5 minutes around my wife and you'll see the fruit of a healthy, happy, Christ-centered couple that also happens to be starting a church....Impact City will be full of fruitful marriages...don't believe me?.....just come visit :)
***Comments emailed to us from Pastor Alan. Thanks for sharing!***
ReplyDeleteJesus through the Apostle Paul said: " Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her." Where does this love come from that enables you to love your wife like Christ loves the church? Do you remember 1 John 4: 19? "We love Him because He first loved us." Our love for Him is birthed out of His love for us. So our ability to love like Christ loves comes from His love for and in us. As we explore His love for us, like it says in the 23rd Psalm, our cup becomes so full that it overflows. You do not have to produce this love by your efforts. He is the producer.
He asks us to love our wife, give ourself for her, and be a living demonstration of His love and giving for the church. And how remarkable it is, that he gives us an assignment, having already given us what we need to do the assignment. His love.
Husbands, as you discover the depth of God's love and provision for you, something amazing happens! His love fills your heart and begins to flow out to others. Your wife should be the first one to experience that flow of love and caring. That is your assignment.
The Prince of Peace left his throne in Heaven and came to earth and treated us like a Princess, loving us, meeting every need. Follow His example. Husband love your wife. And love her lavishly! Be a Prince. Treat her like a Princess. Take really good care of her.
So when act like a frog once in awhile. Kiss and make up with your Princess and let her kiss remind you, you are her Prince, and that your last name is "Charming". FYI - Prince Charming gets a lot of kisses!
And another thought! Women love beautiful things. What does she do with those beautiful things you give her? She makes herself look beautiful. She makes your home look beautiful.
Your gifts (not only of things, but the gift of your time) to her, not only IMPACT her outwardly, but inwardly. Knowing she is truly loved with the God kind of love, brings out the inward beautiful of Christ and her identity in Him. Husbands you become part of helping your wife discover her identity in Christ.
You couldn't have a better pastor, than one who knows how to love his wife like Jesus loved the church and gave himself for her. He will sheperd you with that same love and giving.
Justin you are giving husbands good advise. I know. Forty-one years of marriage. And consider the IMPACT this will have not only on your marriage, but on your children.
Go for it Justin & Mindy!
Pastor Alan, Good News Church
I agree with this and love this great reminder. I do think that marriage needs to be prioritized, and excuses I myself have made sometimes are I don't have enough money to go on dates, hire a babysitter, etc. Well, like Robert T. Kiyosaki says in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, stop saying you can't afford it. Ask "How can I afford it?" This keeps your mind from just spitting an excuse and quiting, to having to think and try and make it work. That's why financial education has become all the more important and I've been studying it. I'm trying to make more for my hottie and my family, so that one day, we can take nice vacations, and I can buy her more of the things that she wants, especially a house. Fellas, don't say "we can't". Ask "How can we?" Even when it comes to affording a babysitter, I have found that swapping kid watching nights with another couple with kids, is a great way to have free babysitting. Ex. We'll watch your kids on Tuesday night, and you watch ours on Thursday night. Or even, we'll watch yours on Saturday afternoon, then when you get back, we'll go out and you watch ours. Then we'll all hang out for the rest of the night together.
ReplyDelete